Sensual Bliss

-A bubble bath to the ebb and flow of a lava lamp
-The smell of a spa
-The quiet at the bottom of a pool
-Lying on your back in a dark field, looking at the stars
-Massage by candelight
-The purr of a cat
-Cold pepsi bubbles on your throat on a really hot day
-The cool breeze of a fan on your naked body
-Hairlessness
-Camping on the Kern to the sound of the river in the background
-The absolute calm of a Vicodin buzz
-Twitterpation- being lost in another
-First kisses
-Listening to the sounds of a thunderstorm at night
-Playing in a really good band/ floating on the ceiling/"Music"
-Making out in a jacuzzi
-Swinging on the swings
-Bouncing on a trampouline
-Sunsets over the beach


TBC

Soul Mate

soulmates:
an intermingling of 2 very passionate souls in perfect harmony

a gift only given to those with the capacity to love deeply
and experience sensuality on a very deep level

Nostalgia for Mid-Western Summer

I came home this afternoon, after being out all day soaking up the sun, to a darkened, quiet room. At 6:15 in the evening, my roommate was taking a nap. So faced with the decision of twittling my thumbs silently in a morgue-like environment, or venturing outdoors again, of course i chose the light. Shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me well. Sunlight is like my source of oxygen. I was always this way- as long as i can remember. So I put on a just a sundress and sat on the porch outside. Miraculously warm for the desert climate in late afternoon, i felt the cool breeze blow under my dress and across my bare skin and was instantly reminded of the midwestern summmers of my childhood.

Growing up in a cornfield is an experience i rarely look back on with any kind of fondness, except maybe in the context of: "Man, I am so glad i got out of there!", but i do remember the summmers with a sweet nostalgia that aches in the deepest recess of my heart at times.

After playing outside all day, I would stay out until the very last ray of sun dipped down over the cornfields, until everything was painted in the glow of dusk and the world went perfectly still. I felt like i was in a fairy tale world. I would watch the shades of blue morph into each other until everything in sight faded into the indistinguishable gray of night. And then, just as the day was losing to night, the crickets would start in a simultaneous symphony of sound, as if someone had flipped a switch. Just then the fireflies would light up the night sky like little magical fairies, and the night would come alive. It would be quite some time until the fully array of stars were visible, but i do remember, after being forced in by the mosquitos, coming back outside to admire the quiet night sky. And how, even at a late hour, the air was warm and pleasantly sticky. I would sit on my porch with the sparsest of clothing and bare feeet and let the breeze blow through my toes, feeling completely warm. God i miss that feeling! Sometimes i would walk through the tall grass in my bare feet or lay on my back and try to name the constellations or just soak up the milky way in the darkest of night in rural Illinois.

Monster's 5 Things

5 snacks I enjoy:
-Buttered popcorn made from scratch
-starbucks mocha frappuchino
-sugar free dark chocolate
-ice cream
-Hansen's sodas

5 bands/singers to whose songs I know most lyrics: can't think of many singers i know ALL the words to, so here are some of my favorite songs:
-Counting Crows: Mr Jones
-U2: Running to Stand Still
-Billy Joel: Piano Man
-Smashing Pumkins: Bullet With Butterfly Wings & Disarm
-Cheryl Crow: My favorite Mistake

5 things I would do with $100,000,000:
-Spend 6 months in the Amazon, volunteering, traveling around and taking pictures
-Get all the dental work i need
-Pay monster's morgage so we could tour all 50 states in an RV
-Buy a really nice medium format camera
-Put it towards a house (sadly, $100,000 wouln't even buy a quarter of a house in these parts!)

5 locations I’d like to run away to: (as in settle? or just for a bit?) i'll take it as just for a bit, since i haven't figured out where i want to settle yet
-Montanta
-Washington state
-Victoria
-the Carribbean- meet some island boy, have a fling, live on the beach....
-Australia

5 bad habits I have:
-cynicism/sarcasm
-picking at peeling skin
-starbucks mocha frappuchino
-lack of direction
-impatience for other drivers

5 things I like doing:
-kayaking
-camping trips
-eating
-being out in the sun
-taking pictures

5 things I would never wear:
-pantyhose!
-silk
-fur
-leather anything but shoes
-puky colors

5 TV shows I like:
-Extreme Home makeover
-Grey's Anatomy
-My wife and kids
-Queer Eye for the Straight guy
-Trading Spaces


5 movies I like:
-Starsky & Hutch
-Rudy
-Radio
-GI Gane
-the Crow


5 famous people I’d like to meet:
-Oprah
-Princess Diana
-SARK
-Ghandi
-My mother at my age

5 biggest joys at the moment:
-Kayaking and other outside pleasures
-the amazing vision of my Amazon trip in my head
-my writing and other creativity exploding out
-my furry son, although he needs to be more cuddly or i shall replace him with a furball kitten!
-the fact that the sun doesn't set until 8 pm, and our current heat wave!


5 favorite toys:
-the catnip lid and the silliness it instills in my son
-the great outdoors
-my new elvis shades
that's about it

100 Best Life Experiences

If you've never done this before, i highly recommend it-it'll give you such gratitude

100 COOL THINGS I'VE DONE

1-Rode in a hot air balloon
2-River rafted down the Kern river
3-Kayaked down the Colorado river, launching from Hoover Dam and camping by the side of the river
4-Took a canoe trip
5-Parasailed over Catalina
6-Jet Skiied
7-Threw amazing birthday beach parties on Dockweiler and Catalina
8-Didn't miss a single spelling word all year in 7th and 8th grades
9-Prairie burning
10-Hung with treesitters and climbed Anastasia, a 100 ft tall redwood tree
11-Made friendship bracelets
12-Snuck out of my friend's house in WI to make out at Lake Manitowoc in the middle of the night
13-Seen live theatre & dance performances
14-Performed community theatre
15-Watched a show being taped
16-Watched the Golden Globes red carpet ceremony from a balcony above
17-Boot camp on the beach
18-Gotten published 3 times in 2 newspapers
19-Been the Art Director of a magazine
20-Taught band for 4 years
21-Been a lifeguard
22-Spent 3 summers at Interlochen Arts Camp
23-Recorded my flute playing
24-5th chair all state honors band, senior year in high school. i was the 5th ranked flutist in the state!
25-Driven through the Appalachians in the fall and visited Chimney Rock
26-Volunteered in rural KY for 6 weeks with CAP
27-Spent a month as a volunteer at Farm Sanctuary
28-Sold all my possessions and moved across country from Charlotte, NC to Catalina Island, CA
29-Been a kitty mom
30-Seen kittens and pigs being born
31-Painted pottery
32-Took ice skating lessons
33-Studied capoeira
34-Inner tubed on snow
35-Lived in the middle east
36-Been fluent in French
37-Worked on a rose bowl parade float
38-Had my design work showcased in the SMC display case
39-Been hypnotized
40-Had a reading from a shaman
41-Crocheted scraves and an afghan
42-Painted furniture
43-Enlarged my pictures and hung them on the wall
44-Built websites
45-Been horseback riding
46-Swam in lakes
47-Dug worms
48-Got my boyfriend's class ring tied up in the bow of a teddy bear for Valentine's Day
49-Studied Spanish
50-Bowled strikes
51-Met a hero
52-Taken yoga
53-Gotten Accupuncture
54-Gotten massages
55-Protested the circus
56-Been to drum circles
57-Rollerbladed on the beach
58-Been gokarting
59-Made Collages
60-Caught fireflies
61-Taught sustainable living workshops
62-Been a coach
63-Been a summer camp counselor
64-Completed the Landmark Curriculum for living
65-Taught pre-school
66-Bottle fed baby cows
67-Rescued a squirrel and a kitten
68-Seen the Albuquerque Balloon Festival
69-Snorkled in the Bahamas
70-Gotten laser hair removal
71-Hiked to the top of the hollywood sign
72-Auditioned for and was accepted into the US Marine Band
73-Took a cruise to St. Thomas & Puerto Rico
74-Took a tour through Costa Rica
75-Stayed at a hostel in Northern CA
76-Been up in the Sears Tower
77-Played piccolo in the University of IL Marching Illini Band
78-Taken a train from Chicago to Los Angeles
79-Visited the Grand Canyon
80-Camped at Lake Tahoe
81-Driven the west coast of Michigan up to Mackinaw Island
82-Marched in parades
83-Fed the homeless on Thanksgiving
84-Fed turkeys on Thanksgiving
85-Been to a NHL hockey game
86-Photographed waterfalls in Yosemite
87-Lobbied the state asssembly for the heritage tree preservation act
88-Hosted a pictionary party so roudy, the neighbors complained
89-Sat around with hippies, singing Bob Dylan songs to acoustic guitar
90-Took a road trip from Los Angeles to Boulder
91-Got all As in design school
92-Been vegan for nearly a year
93-Got my navel pierced
94-Drove down the coast from San Francisco to Los Angeles
95-Learned how to play every band instrument
96-Played the Stars & Stripes piccolo solo sitting on the balcony of Follenger Auditorium
97-Played in amazing concert bands
98-Wrote a winning Martin Luther King Jr Essay for a $500 scholarship
99-Watched a Native Indian dance
100-Seen Northern lights in Wisconsin

Boston

Went to Boston to visit my brother
July15-July 19, 2005

Wow. i LOVE Boston! god, if they didn't have winter from hell, i'd pack up and move
a city with heart
green grass, parks, white people! educated, granola types. mmmmmmm

My life is soo different than my brother's. He only has 3 close friends that he hangs with. Asked him what he does during the week. Says he spends 60 hours a week working, then hangs with his 3 friends. or travels. Man, my life involves so much more.

the week b4 i left, i went kayaking w/ Debi on a thurs, then to a pizza party w/ her and neel.
Sat i went biking on the beach w/ corinnne. sun i went to Agape w/ Peter, then kayaking w/ K. and then to Bubba Gumps- dripping wet from kayaking, in flip flops, dangling from a bar stool, eating appetizers and dessert at the bar. awesome!!! i was happy that week. if my life were like that all the time, i would love my life. lots of activities, social life.

In that respect, compared to my brother's existence, i love my life. how could i think i could move from the beach? i didn't realize how much i love it. kayaking, 3 pm meditations, bike rides.

this visit, thank god, for once, made me realize a lot of things in my life ARE working (what a change from my usual vacations). i love the constant 'do, go, see' that i've got going on. i have a lot in my life, i really do. a lot of activities, a lot of people i keep up with. i should remember that the next time i try to beat myself up over not being able to manage it all or find any balance. i take on a lot.l makes me realize how blessed i am. Jessyln, Jax, Ro, Dawna, Elite, Peter, Seamus, Debi, Corinne, K, Nancy, Michelle, Manny, Ashley B, Ashley M, Linda, Jason, Nick, Ferris, Shirley, Monster, Broad. And what i've got going on- RE mentorship, job, pt job, writing, sierra club trips, capoeira, exercise, kayaking, etc. i love the year round outdoor climate and the fact that there is always something going on - the outdoor adventures, the access to seminars, and spiritual activities, and so much to partake of.