Enough Already!

Hello,
would someone take the fucking pin out of back? i feel like a human vodoo doll, being continually fucked with
Got fired today.
my head is spinning.
everything in the universe seemed to be trying to stop me from going on my trip, and then whamo, the rug here is ripped out from under me. i'm backed into a corner. i hate when i have no control. when my choices are taken away from me.

crazy thing is, i had planned on quitting today. and satan sent me some god-awful venemous email, which i stumbled into, in a total haze of sleeplessness, congestion and june gloom in may. i requested that the boss deal with it as he has done me when i write such "inflammatory" emails. he basically tells me, "you deal with it". so fuck him, i say. he has no respect for me. so why do i need to give him a month notice?

my coworker tells me at 1 pm , that the boss is gone for the day. well, he had one more thing on his list of things to do today before he left: fire me. funny thing is, everytime i get called in, i'm afraid i'm gonna get fired. and he always rolls his eyes at me for it.

this time he really was firing me. i was stunned. in shock. felt at first like, whatever. no problem. the end result is the same; come june 9th, i don't have a job. but whereas quitting would've left me in control, empowered, this leaves me feeling completely disempowered and disrespected. the more time passed, the more pissed off i got.

it's so wrong, up and down and sideways. on so many levels.
me and the production lady and the main sales lady fucking RUN that company. i've given him over 3 and 1/2 years of loyal dedication, of consistent results without him having to ride me or prod me to do so. same with the other 2 gals. and i am the most versatile one there- often pinch hitting for the art department.

2 weeks ago he was offering me some editorial assignments, last week, promising me that "the writing was on the wall", that i would take over lucy-fur's job, offering to send me to accounting classes, sitting down with me to show me how he had it all planned out, that we would make a profit, heaping more and more responsibility on me. and this week, he's like, "see ya".
i mean, what slaps me in the face the most is this: "we can wrap it up now or we can give it 2 weeks". WHAT ????
he's been telling me for YEARS how incompetent lucy-fur is, how he doesn't even like her, how she makes everything a big drama scene, how she fucks everything up, how he has to ride her to get anything done, but that he had loyalty to her.
(why, because he slept with her?) fuck me. yet, when he cut her hours back, he gave her a MONTH notice, (which turned into several) AND found her another job. yet, he's willing to kick my ass on the street with NO notice? meanwhile, leave the books hanging, in the middle of the month? with no training to the new person? what the FUCK???
and i think back. he's given consultant guy a month notice, and social butterfly a month's notice. and kept satan on even though he's shown himself time and again to be belligerant, incapable, and has costing him tens of thousands of dollars in lost revenue. what makes it okay to throw me on my ass in 2 weeks? one of the most productive and versatile employees he has?

i swear the ex is behind this. has to be something personal.
and then to hand me some bullshit line about some lady seeking him out and offering to do my job at 1/2 the price? don't insult my intelligence. i'm too smart and too intuitive to buy such crap. handing me some bullshit story only disrespects me. i deserve more than that. just fucking tell me the truth. whatever it is. adult to adult.

i've never seen the man fire anyone. and we've had some people in there so fucking stupid that they couldn't even figure out to turn on their own computer. and no offer of cutting back my hours, or taking on other job functions. he could've given me lucy-fur's job and saved her salary.

something is "off" here. who does that? who rips someone's job out from under them and kicks them onto the street just because they found someone else cheaper? who does that?
i must've done something to piss him off. seriously. just fucking level with me. don't make me wonder.