Diary of a virgin- Burningman 2005

Sunday, 9/4
got up. ate with my camp. then off to the template with my sage that Oceana gave me. Yesterday i cried for all of my own grief. today i cried at everyone else's. there were so many more animal notes today. those tore me up the most. i would see one, then lose it, then move on to the human ones, and cry even harder. After noting it was the animal friends that hurt me the most, and not knowing exactly what to do with the sage offering, i realized i was there to givee it to Jezzie and KK. So i wrote them a note on a bench of the temple, in a permanent market left there, and place the sage over it, crying so hard. i think that i am finally processing what i couldn't even touch when they passed.

couldn't find the certificate of divorce that was posted there yesterday. i wanted to take a picture. the notes blew me away- so beautifully poetic. i wrote down the notes and want to make a collage. yesterday i gave up soooo much at the temple. i wrote to aria: "i hope you find your wings in heaven. i love you. mom #1", then a note to jezzie and kk, then a note on a piece of wood to mom, then one to kirk, then placed the pages out of my journal where i'd written all my grudges at various people, then a note to the universe, giving up my anger and envy, etc

after the temple today, i gravitated towards center camp and sat by a drum circle for some healing. it's the first time i've spent any time here, and i'm sorry i hadn't come sooner. there is a man, painted green from head to toe- naked, wearing only an open green robe, dancing among the gathering crowd. and oddly enough, no one, including me, even notices any peculiarity in this.

it's been a very solitary experience for me- definitely not what i had expected- like it had it's own agenda.
it's clear, i came here to heal, to experience, and to play. i will definitely miss the openness of the people here. i thought it'd take me a while to adjust to the nudity and the freaky costumes. i thought i'd be analyzing, comparing and judging. but i never did. it was all fine right from the get go. i wasn't even comparing. it's good to see guys in dresses and long hair- shirtless in sarongs and crinkly skirts.

yesterday was play. i went off on my own to explor, and so glad i did. 1st stop- a butt branding place. :)
when i got there, the picture picture was set up. a girl bending over in big white angel wings, wearing a thong, bent over at the waist, getting her butt branded. what a pic! so i had my butt branded with the man. what fun.
next stop, a fear box outside a camp. "drop your fears in this box to burn". i wrote: "i'm afraid no one will ever love me", and "i'm afraid i'll never be ok"
and then on to the next adventure. i came upon a swingset with 2 fur colored swings. ( i swung of course). next to me on the ground was a very decorated burner in striped leggins and fur, holaing, with many hoola hoops strew on the ground. across the street was a 4 ft tall jenga game going on with big blocks of wood. Onward to G spot, where i jumped on a trampouline. nearby, in the camp was a hair washing station where one girl was getting her hair washed from another at a station, much like a beauty saon. i was having so much fun on the trampouline that i guy wandering by was inspired to jump on the neighboring one. when i'd had enough, i put on my camelback and headed off on my bike to explore some more.
i stumbled across an amazing place called 'dilate peoples' camp. under a big open circus like tent, there was a wonderful relief spa. i walked in where someone directed me to a couch, shared with several other people. there were people scattered around couches and in hammmocks. and little angels walked around, putting eye wash in your eyes, cucumbers and a chilled gel mask over your eyes while you sit quietly and relax to soothing music. people come by and sprinke you with scented cool water and lightly drag a feather across your skin. the session is ended with a minty bean bag over your face.

after that, i found heebee geebee camp, a center for yoga sessions, and massage treatments. they had ALL kinds of elaborate massages and bodywork of every sort. apparently, they are so popular that you need to get there at 9 am everyday to get a number in order to get a chance at getting a treatment that day. today, i was told, the line formed at 7:30 am.
there was a huge carpeted tent where people did yoga on their own, sat with partners, read books, etc. like a big park. no shoes allowed. i lay down on the carpet for a bit. what a soothing, relaxing place to escape the heat. in the back of that tent was an area where they performed the services, with a myriad of massage tables, dived by a lady at a table, calling numbers and crossing off names on the list. the next tent over was having a couples touch workshop, or something of that nature.