Somewhere Over the Rainbow

i'm beginning to wonder if what i want is that pot of gold over the rainbow. am i looking for neverland?
i just don't even know what would make me happy. was my mother right, that nothing ever will?
i got in touch with a travel writer who writes for lonely planet. she basically told me travel writing was a miserable existence and that she was doing everything she could to get out.
is there no way to support myself that doesn't suck major ass?
good grief, i am so in awe of people who enjoy their work.....

the quiet feels SOOO good
sitting here in my living room, with only the sounds of the passing traffic, a little bit of sun streaming in the window. that's NICE. what a feak i am.
what i want more than anything right now is just to be left alone. how weird.
it's like i am suffering from stimulus overload. i sat at home for 3 days and did nothing but work on my website. only interacted w/ one other person. and i swear, back to work today was like a shock. the sudden stimulus of bouncing off everyone else's moods, gripes and squabbles. the phone ringing, people wanting stuff from me. it was too much for me to handle! i didn't answer my phone or check email all weekend, and it was sooo nice.

work was stressful, and i came home all in my head, gripy and miserable. pulled up, closed the car door, and from across the street, a little meow lifted me out of my depts and put a great big smile on my face! whoooaah. that is happiness. that brings me joy. i picked him up and he was all full of purrs and mews. whoah! i wish i could make him happier. he seems depressed lately too. wish i could take him on the road with me, or find a way to make a living that i could have money, flexiblity and freedom so i didn't have to do it this way!