I'd be much more well adjusted with Valium!

and by the way, new years eve just sucks
all you happy cloud people can just shove that holiday right up your ass
i remember ONE that didn't suck. i was 16
turns out 2006 will be another solo event for me
don't think anyone could have anymore alone holidays if they tried

whatever
seriously
whatever

wish there was ever a moment that everything felt ok
i feeel nervous
god, i am my mother
twitchy
anxious
on edge
always
i would kill for a vicodin right now

i was thinking about my friend here today
she's so got her life together
and not in an obnoxious happy cloud way- thank god
i hope i end up living w/ her for a while
she has so much to teach me
please, somebody get me out of this hellish rut of a life
i was thinking what she has that i aspire to having: a job she loves, a house, nice car, adventure, friends, boyfriend, balance, confidence, fun, trips/travel, summers off, exercise, cute boys flirting with her, plenty of $
no wonder i have such lack mentality.
there are a lot of things i want, and i don't know how to go about getting them